Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Saturday, June 28, 2008
The Washer man and the Foolish Donkey
Have you heard the story of " The Washer man and the Foolish Donkey" ?
To refresh your memory, and for the benefit of those who have not grown up listening to this moral story, it goes like this…
There was once a washer man who had a donkey and a dog. One night when the whole world was sleeping, a thief broke into the house, the washer man was fast asleep but the donkey and the dog were awake. The dog decided not to bark since the master did not take good care of him and wanted to teach him a lesson. The donkey got worried and said to the dog that if he doesn't bark, the donkey will have to do something himself. The dog did not change his mind and the donkey started braying loudly. Hearing the donkey bray, the thief ran away, the master woke up and started beating the donkey for braying in the middle of the night for no reason.
Moral of the story " One must not engage in duties other than his own"
Now take a new look at the same story…
The washer man (J) was a well educated man from a premier management institute. He had the fundas of looking at the bigger picture and thinking out of the box. He was convinced that there must be some reason for the donkey to bray in the night. He walked outside a little and did some fact finding, applied a bottom up approach, figured out from the ground realities that there was a thief who broke in and the donkey only wanted to alert him about it. Looking at the donkey's extra initiative and going beyond the call of the duty, he rewarded him with lot of hay and other perks and became his favorite pet. The dog's life didn't change much, except that now the donkey was more motivated in doing the dogs duties as well. In the annual appraisal the dog managed a " meets requirement" . Soon the dog realized that the donkey is taking care of his duties and he can enjoy his life sleeping and lazing around. The donkey was rated as " star performer". The donkey had to live up to his already high performance standards. Soon he was over burdened with work and always under pressure and now is looking for a job rotation…
Disclaimer:
All characters in the story are not at all imaginary. Any resemblance to person living or dying of work is purely intentional.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Kuttappan
One day Kuttappan's dad bought a robot.The robot was special in that it
could detect a lie and would slap the person who lied on the face.
Kuttappan returned late from school that day and his dad asked him, "
Son why are you late from school?".
Kuttappan answered, "Dad we had extra classes today".
Much to his astonishment the Robot jumped up and slapped Kuttappan on
his face.
His dad told him Mone (son) This robot is special in that he can detect
a lie and will then slap the person who lied now come on tell me the
truth, " Why are you late?"
"Dad I went for a movie", " Which movie?" "The Ten Commandments", Splatt
Kuttappan got a tight slap on the face from the robot.
" No dad honest I went for the movie Sex Queen." Shame on you son when I
was your age I never used to do such shameful things."
Splatt, the dad gets a tight slap on the face from the robot.
Hearing all this, Kuttappans mother comes walking out of the kitchen
saying, "Athu pinne enginnenaa, ningalude monealle?" ( After all he is
your son, he will be like you), to which the robot steps up and gives a
resounding slap on Kuttappans mothers face.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Ultimate Quotes : Very Funny
1. If time doesn't wait for you, don't worry!
Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life!
2. Expecting the world to treat u fairly coz u r a good person is like
expecting the lion not to attack u coz u r a vegetarian. Think about it.
3. Beauty isn't measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear,
but what we are inside. So, try going out without clothes tomorrow and see the admiration!
4. Don't walk as if you rule the world,
walk as if you don't care who rules the world!
That's called Attitude…! Keep on rocking!
5. Every lady hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did
and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did!!!
6. He was a good man. He never smoked, drank & had no affair.
When he died, the insurance company refused the claim.
They said, he who never lived, cannot die!
7. A man threw his wife in a pond of Crocodiles?
He's now being harassed by the Animal Rights Activists for being cruel to the Crocodiles!
8. So many options for suicide:
Poison, sleeping pills, hanging,
jumping from a building, lying on train tracks, but we chose Marriage, slow & sure!
9. Only 20 percent girls have brains, rest have boyfriends!
10. All desirable things in life are either
illegal, banned, expensive or married to someone else!
11. Laziness is our biggest enemy- Jawaharlal Nehru
We should learn to love our enemies- Mahatma Gandhi
Ab aap bataaye kiski sune bapu di ya chacha di???
12. When things go wrong, when sadness fills your heart,
When tears flows from your eyes always say these words…
Eh Ganpat, chal daru la…
13. 10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving.
Which makes it a logical statement that
90% of accidents are due to driving without drinking!
Piyo Sar Utha Ke!
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
The Internet FAQ from 2085
What was the internet?
The internet and the world web was a computing system to transfer human information. Scientists have based its beginning to the years 1920 to 1940.
What was electromail?
Electromail was another transport protocol to transfer human information, but it was quickly discontinued as it caused misunderstandings due to lack of correctly representing emotions.
What were world web sites?
A so-called world web site consisted of an address of its owner to locate their physical business location, as well as other miscellaneous transmitting of human information that was considered important at the time. The protocol used to decode the information was called hypertext, and as its standards changed quickly over the years, it is impossible to decode most of the information contained within.
I noticed the word "NSFW" in a world web sites museum displaying hypertext reproductions. What does it mean?
Scientific research at the late Mars Research Laboratory came to the conclusion that NSFW announced the display of a widely popular human called Britneyspears in the 1970s. Why warnings were issued before the viewing of this human is unclear.
Did the world web have version numbers?
Yes. In the beginning, the world web was numbered from 1 to 10, with most people considering world web 8 to be the first stable release. Afterwards, the world web received code names for each new version, like "Omega Sun" or the popular "Happy Happy Rabbit" release.
A picture showing the internet. It is unclear what it depicts.
Who controlled the internet?
The internet was controlled by the governments, then for a brief period by personal humans all over the world, and then again by the governments. The intermittent period of personal human control was subsequently named the internet dark age as it incited to unlawful behavior.
What alternative information transfer technologies accompanied the internet?
The internet was only one of many transfer technologies. Equally popular at the time were the Ipod, also called Phone, a device to record and emit copies of the human voice, as well as the so-called Pongmachine which showed an animated bright shape on a dark background.
What was the Googlecom?
The Googlecom was a government-supervised computerized mechanism for human information storage and retrieval. It subsequently became integrated into the Universal Intelligence in around 2035.
Did the internet help the birth of the Universal Intelligence?
It is believed that the internet was an important mechanism to copy, spread and advance the ancestor of the Universal Intelligence. While the human civilization host system was unstable, progress was quickly reached after the invention of self-developing computerized intelligence machinery.
What was the Worldthought, the Netlink, and the Civilitron?
This FAQ only deals with planet number 5010; for the early computing systems of other planets, please refer to FAQs number 1 - 10000.
How long did humans take to invent the internet?
Scientific research believes that humans took around 150,000 years to build the internet and the world web as well as electromail. To explain the delay, it is believed that a human brain needed around 20 seconds to calculate an expression like 12 * 390, whereas it was incapable of calculating expressions like 12 * 3903829. Other inhabitants of the planet such as Bonobo Apes or the Arrowtooth Eel are believed to have had higher brain capacities, but no intent to build the internet.
Which entities were most popular on the internet?
While early hypertext storage can only be vaguely decoded, scientific research believes that from 1970 to 1999, the most popular entity on the internet was Britneyspears; from 2000 to 2020, it was Pleaseclickhere; from 2021 to 2030, it was the Mechabot100 release.
When did the internet end?
The internet ended with the end of planet number 5010, which is widely attributed to the fact that humans were using transportation facilities called autocars which only used around 1/5th of their transportation storage capacity, causing the planet to overheat. Copies of the internet are available in other systems though so you can read the archive at anytime.
I am interested to find out more about humans, where can I see them?
You can find representative entities of the human species in most local zoos. Visitors of model version 4.55 and lower receive special discounts; while the brain of humans is likely incapable of experiencing pain, please do not feed or break them.
source: http://blogoscoped.com/archive/2008-05-20-n15.html
Monday, April 28, 2008
Live in the Present
It's been 18 years since I joined Volvo, a Swedish
company. Working for them has proven to be an
interesting experience. Any project here takes 2 years
to be finalized, even if the idea is simple and
brilliant. It's a rule.
Globalize processes have caused in us (all over the
world) a general sense of searching for immediate
results. Therefore, we have come to posses a need to
see immediate results. This contrasts greatly with the
slow movements of the Swedish. They, on the other
hand, debate, debate, debate, hold x quantity of
meetings and work with a slowdown scheme. At the end,
this always yields better results.
Said in another words:
1. Sweden is about the size of San Pablo, a state in
Brazil.
2. Sweden has 2 million inhabitants.
3. Stockholm, has 500,000 people.
4. Volvo, Escania, Ericsson, Electrolux, Nokia are
some of its renowned companies. Volvo supplies the
NASA.
The first time I was in Sweden, one of my colleagues
picked me up at the hotel every morning. It was
September, bit cold and snowy. We would arrive early
at the company and he would park far away from the
entrance (2000 employees drive their car to work). The
first day, I didn't say anything, either the second or
third. One morning I asked, "Do you have a fixed
parking space? I've noticed we park far from the
entrance even when there are no other cars in the
lot." To which he replied, "Since we're here early
we'll have time to walk, and whoever gets in late will
be late and need a place closer to the door. Don't you
think? Imagine my face.
Nowadays, there's a movement in Europe name Slow Food.
This movement establishes that people should eat and
drink slowly, with enough time to taste their food,
spend time with the family, friends, without rushing.
Slow Food is against its counterpart: the spirit of
Fast Food and what it stands for as a lifestyle. Slow
Food is the basis for a bigger movement called Slow
Europe, as mentioned by Business Week.
Basically, the movement questions the sense of "hurry"
and "craziness" generated by globalization, fueled by
the desire of "having in quantity" (life status)
versus "having with quality", "life quality" or the
"quality of being". French people, even though they
work 35 hours per week, are more productive than
Americans or British. Germans have established 28.8
hour workweeks and have seen their productivity been
driven up by 20%. This slow attitude has brought forth
the US's attention, pupils of the fast and the "do it
now!".
This no-rush attitude doesn't represent doing less or
having a lower productivity. It means working and
doing things with greater quality, productivity,
perfection, with attention to detail and less stress.
It means reestablishing family values, friends, free
and leisure time. Taking the "now", present and
concrete, versus the "global", undefined and
anonymous. It means taking humans' essential values,
the simplicity of living.
It stands for a less coercive work environment, more
happy, lighter and more productive where humans enjoy
doing what they know best how to do. It's time to stop
and think on how companies need to develop serious
quality with no-rush that will increase productivity
and the quality of products and services, without
losing the essence of spirit.
In the movie, Scent of a Woman, there's a scene where
Al Pacino asks a girl to dance and she replies, "I
can't, my boyfriend will be here any minute now". To
which Al responds, "A life is lived in an instant".
Then they dance to a tango.
Many of us live our lives running behind time, but we
only reach it when we die of a heart attack or in a
car accident rushing to be on time. Others are so
anxious of living the future that they forget to live
the present, which is the only time that truly exists.
We all have equal time throughout the world. No one
has more or less. The difference lies in how each one
of us does with our time. We need to live each moment.
As John Lennon said, "Life is what happens to you
while you're busy making other plans".
Friday, February 8, 2008
Satisfaction is death!!!
" Every morning in
- Thomas L. Friedman in "The World is Flat"
The Japanese have a great liking for fresh fish. But the waters close to
population, fishing boats got bigger and went farther than ever. The
farther the fishermen went, the longer it took to bring back the fish.
The longer it took them to bring back the fish, the staler they grew. The
fish were not fresh and the Japanese did not like the taste.
To solve this problem, fishing companies installed freezers on their
boats. They would catch the fish and freeze them at sea. Freezers allowed the
boats to go farther and stay longer. However, the Japanese could taste
the difference between fresh and frozen fish. And they did not like the
taste of frozen fish. The frozen fish brought a lower price. So, fishing
companies installed fish tanks. They would catch the fish and stuff them
in the tanks, fin to fin. After a little hashing around, the fish stopped
moving. They were tired and dull, but alive. Unfortunately, the Japanese
could still taste the difference. Because the fish did not move for
days, they lost their fresh-fish taste. The Japanese preferred the lively
taste of fresh fish, not sluggish fish. The fishing industry faced an
impending crisis! But today, it has got over that crisis and has emerged as one of
the most important trades in that country! How did Japanese fishing
companies solve this problem? How do they get fresh-tasting fish to
To keep the fish tasting fresh, the Japanese fishing companies still put
the fish in the tanks. But now they add a small shark to each tank. The
shark eats a few fish, but most of the fish arrive in a very lively
state. The fish are challenged and hence are constantly on the move. And they
survive and arrive in a healthy state! They command a higher price and
are most sought-after. The challenge they face keeps them fresh!
Humans are no different. L. Ron Hubbard observed in the early 1950's:
"Man thrives, oddly enough, only in the presence of a challenging
environment.
" George Bernard Shaw said: "Satisfaction is death!"
The more intelligent, persistent and competent you are, the more you
enjoy a challenge. If you are steadily conquering challenges, you are happy.
You think of your challenges and get energized. You are excited to try new
solutions. You have fun. You are alive! Instead of avoiding challenges,
jump into them. Catch these challenges by their horns and vanquish them.
Enjoy the game. If your challenges are too large or too numerous, do not
give up. Failing makes you tired. Instead, reorganize. Find more
determination, more knowledge, more help. Don't create success and revel
in it in a state of inertia. You have resources, skills and abilities to
make a difference.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Different Women
· Hard-Disk Woman: Never forgets anything
· Excel Woman: Ideal housewife, excels at whatever she does
· Screensaver Woman: Good for nothing but a fun person
· Internet Woman: As difficult to access as a top manager
· Server Woman: Always busy, specially when needed by others
· Multimedia Woman: Makes horrible things look beautiful
· CR-ROM Woman: Always gets faster at whatever she does
Monday, January 7, 2008
New ICC rules:
After watching the test match(held in Sydney during the period 2nd Jan 2008 to 6th Jan 2008), I feel some rules have to be incorporated by ICC to give the other teams a perfect clarification
(1) Ricky Ponting – (THE TRULY GENUINE CRICKETER OF THE CRICKET ERA AND WHOSE INTEGRITY SHOULD NOT BE DOUBTED) should be considered as the FOURTH UMPIRE. As per the new rules, FOURTH UMPIRE decision is final and will over ride any decisions taken by any other umpires. ON-FIELD umpires can seek the assistance of RICKY PONTING even if he is not on the field. This rule is to be made, so that every team should understand the importance of the FOURTH UMPIRE.
(2) While AUSTRALIAN TEAM is bowling, If the ball flies anywhere close to the AUSTRALIAN FIELDER(WITHIN 5 metre distance), the batsman is to be considered OUT irrelevant of whether the catch was taken cleanly or grassed. Any decision for further clarification should be seeked from the FOURTH UMPIRE. This is made to ensure that the cricket is played with SPORTIVE SPIRIT by all the teams.
(3) While BATTING, AUSTRALIAN players will wait for the ON-FIELD UMPIRE decisions only (even if the catch goes to the FIFTH SLIP as the ball might not have touched the bat). Each AUSTRALIAN batsman has to be out FOUR TIMES (minimum) before he can return to the pavilion. In case of THE CRICKETER WITH INTEGRITY, this can be higher.
(4) UMPIRES should consider a huge bonus if an AUSTRALIAN player scores a century. Any wrong decisions can be ignored as they will be paid huge bonus and will receive the backing of the AUSTRALIAN team and board.
(5) All AUSTRALIAN players are eligible to keep commenting about all players on the field and the OPPONENT TEAM should never comment as they will be spoiling the spirit of the AUSTRALIAN team. Any comments made in any other language are to be considered as RACIALISM only.
(6) MATCH REFREE decisions will be taken purely on the AUSTRALIAN TEAM advices only. Player views from the other teams decisions will not be considered for hearing. MATCH REFREES are to be given huge bonus if this rule is implemented.
(7) NO VISITING TEAM should plan to win in
(8) THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE: If any bowler gets RICKY PONTING - "THE UNDISPUTED CRICKETER WITH INTEGTIRY IN THE GAME OF CRICKET" more than twice in a series, he will be banned for the REST OF THE SERIES. This is to ensure that the best batsman/Captain will be played to break records and create history in the game of CRICKET.
These rules will clarify better to the all teams VISITING AUSTRALIA.
